Invader Ack Kane
by Wonderbee31
Summary: What happens if Invader Zim was done by the Ranma cast? Take a looksee for yourself!


Hidey-Ho everyone! For those of you who are ondering, FutuRanma is not dead, or even critical. I've been working on it for a while, and even though I was stuck for a bit, I've gotten back into the swing of things. However, this story here is one that I did, in order to bust some of the writers block that I had. What I wanted was to see how Invader Zim would be if done with the Ranma cast? I did make some changes, and decided to have Akane in the Zim role, why, well, guess I'm just crazy...or something. Anyhoo, I wanted to post this, so people would know that I haven't fallen off the map, or been et up or something like that. Tsake a look, this is a one-shot, though that might be a follow-up in the future, and will continue to work on F-Ranma so I can get it out sooner rather than later. Enjoy, and just remeber, when I say run, run like a rabbit!

Invader Zim is owned by Nickelodeon, and created by Jhonen Vasquez, while Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahasi, and distributed by Viz North America, so no ownership by me is implied, and I'm just building something else with the matchsticks that the creators made available, trying to build something...different.

**Invader Ack!-Kane strikes!**

Somewhere in deep, deeper, deepest space, something was happening. The next lines of ships slowly approached the docking ring around the planet, before they locked themselves into place, and the crew members started to disembark, even as a voice came over the ship's speakers.

"Welcome!" rang out a cheerful, yet subtly alien voice, "Welcome to Conventionary 7, the intergalactic convention hall planet! All persons on their way to Comic mart 402K should push the red button on their transporters! All those members of the Master Invaders race here for the first phase of Operation: Impending Universal Whoop-Ass should press the khaki colored button!"

There followed a continuous repeat of the announcement during which the members of each respective group continued to make their way to the planets surface, with only a little momentary confusion on which button to push by the Inu Yashicans of Sirius 3, which was almost immediately cleared up with little to no blood being drawn at all., and only a payment of 4 bags of kibbles to be made to the survivors families

The transport to the surface continued, whilst the streaming mass of, um… inhumanity gathered at each of the great convention halls quickly. The members of the master race soon where ready for an appearance by those who ruled them all, and therefore by extension, the entire universe. Mulling about, the Invaders were as excited as atoms in the midst of fissioning. It had been too long since the last opportunity for universal conquest, something that might well have happened if not for…her. This was the Invader whose name was ordered to not be spoken, under punishment of having to work with her older sisters, as that may somehow, in someway, alert her as to what was going on here, and bring her running to try and help. Of course her version of helping was…different from what a normal being would consider help.

'Oh yes, thank goodness,' thought several of the Invaders at the same moment, 'Thank goodness Ack!-Kane isn't here to mess this moment in time up.'

At the same time this thought had appeared, a little ball of light approached the planet, rapidly expanding into a tiny one person ship. Aboard that ship, was a being that was of such evil and darkness that it seemed almost too horrible to imagine where she could have come from. Oh well, hopefully they wouldn't notice that her coffee break had currently stretched out from it's usual 15 minutes to what had now become it's third week. Yes, thought the being on board this tiny ship, it would soon be able to arrive, and from there on it knew that it could convince the others in helping to smash all perverseness in the universe.

In the insanely large convention hall, all of the current personnel designated as Invaders, were looking at a platform in the center of the room, which had the largest concentration of light around it. Suddenly, a fanfare played, and a voice came over the audio-visual units scattered throughout the hall.

"Welcome," stated a wonderfully cheerful voice, "Now, everybody here, let's give it up all you Invaders, as you pay homage to the greatest of all of you. Give welcome to…THE MASTER'S OF THE ART!"

All the Invaders started screaming out their appreciation as a larger circular platform started to descend from the ceiling, while smoke billowed out from hidden vents, and lasers started to flash around the room, only occasionally blinding someone. When the platform had finally settled to the ground, and the smoke had been cleared out, there appeared a group of individuals standing before the crowd of now insanely shrieking Invaders. The two standing in the forefront were male; the one on the right was tall, with a fairly large gut, while the other male was just as tall, with a head obscured by a large cloud of smoke, which came from some type of cigarette in his mouth. Standing behind them stood two females of the same species, each quite lovely in a way, even with their inhumanity. They all had emerald-colored skin, with large red eyes for the males, while the females had slanted purple eyes, and they were taller than anyone else in the hall. On top of their heads, instead of hair two antennae stuck out, straight up, before bending back. The pandemonium continued for a few minutes more, while the four beings on the platform seemed to bask in it, until finally, the fatter of the two males held up his hands, and the crowd eventually grew quiet.

"Greetings my students," he huffed out, still managing to sound important even while looking pompous, "Greeting to all of you who have traveled far and wide throughout the galaxy, and returned here to bask in the pleasure of…your Masters!"

Finishing that he reached behind him and picked up a bottle of some kind of alcohol, and started drinking some, appearing to chug it straight up, rather than mixing it on the rocks like most other civilized people.

"OH I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU COULD ALL GET HERE!" Shouted the other master, who then started wailing copiously, "I JUST WISH MY LTTLE DARLING GIRL ACK…!"

However before he could get the name out, the two other females that had previously been off and to the side off the two, had moved almost faster than the eye could see, and had their hands over the weepiest one's mouth.

"Oh my, now Father," said the taller of the two ladies disapprovingly, "What did Nab!-Eeki and I just mention to you before we arrived? You know that you, along with everyone else are not to mention her name, as she is now officially an outcast from our race, not even allowed to practice our form of the Art."

"That's right Daddy!" said the other girl, with no small amount of menace in her voice, "Kuts!-Zume has worked too long, and I have invested too much in this project that you and Uncle Fatso have wanted for so long to throw it all away now. Now if you don't want to unify your two halves of the universe, just say so now, and I'll send all of these folks home, set up the game board for you two, and we'll just let things go from there. So what do you say?"

The weepiest Master's sobs died down, a few seconds after Nab!-Eeki had finished speaking, with him looking thoughtful for another moment.

"I'm…I'm sorry my daughters," he started out hesitantly, gaining strength as he continued, "I just miss your youngest sister so much, and know that if she where here, that we'd be able to conquer the universe that much more quickly. I mean, last time, you remember, she was a creature of total destruction, right?

"Oh yes Father!" said the other daughter, Kuts!-Zume sarcastically, "We remember everything."

Flashback, for all you monkey-people out there

The machine was huge, standing at close to fifty meters in height, and vaguely human shaped, and it walked about dealing out destruction on a scale rarely seen before. Both Masters winced as it continued slowly down the street, the massive Hammer the robot wielded crushing buildings around it left and right.

However the wincing was less from the sight of the huge engine of destruction on its continued way about the city, but from the current tugging on their antennae that came from the two younger females in the room.

"Oh no, we can't let her just let her go on her way from here to wreck another planet!" shrieked a younger looking Nab!-Eeki, "No, you had to let her get a hold of an omega-doom-athon, just because she used those stupid Inu-Yashican eyes on you! So now, we've got little sister running around, smashing the living shit out of every pervert out there and here you are saying HOW PROUD YOU ARE!

"But Nab!-Eeki dear!" the fattest wailed, "Your little sister is working to become a true Master of the Art! Why if she does this here, she'll be unstoppable on the other worlds we visit…OW!"

That last part was squeaked out as Kutz!-Zume yanked hard on the fattest Master's antennae.

"You know, Uncle dear," she said in a voice similar to the grave's chilliness, "That might well be all right at any other time, however, since she's currently still on '**our planet**', then that sort of ruins the whole thing, wouldn't you say?

Meanwhile, in the giant robot, the terrified crew was frantically trying to keep up with the orders coming from the smallish sized figure in the center seat.

"You there, twist those knobs!" cackled out the obvious commander, "And you, pull those levers, pull those levers!"

"But Mistress Ack!-Kane!" sobbed the knobs-twister, "We haven't left our planet yet! That's the capital city that you're going after down there!"

"So…what you're saying is," Ack!-Kane mused, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "That you think that just because it's our planet, any perverts that are down there don't need to be punished? Hmm, maybe you fill that way because you're…a pervert?"

The knob-twister stood ramrod still for a moment, before he turned back to his controls, and then started twisting knobs desperately, hoping that his commander and the youngest daughter of their weepiest Master would not single him out for 'punishment'.

Giddily chuckling, Ack!-Kane turned her chair around, and started barking out more orders, and the massive engine of destruction, continued on it's way, occasionally skipping along.

That's the end 'o that flashback!

"Oh well," shrugged Kuts!-Zume, "We've not heard anything from her or her bosses since she's been exiled to Barhoppia, so I think we may be safe during this campaign. Now let's let our faithful students of the Art know what we're going to do, and we won't worry about Ack!-Kane anymore…oh shit!"

On board the small ship, the little alien female, which was indeed Ack!-Kane, scowled for a moment, before she shook her head, and wondered which pervert was speaking about her, before she again turned her attention to the task at hand, finding a parking spot. Fortunately, there was a good one right in front of her, with a transporter that could be set to drop her right in the main hall. Unfortunately, her way to it was blocked by two of the more massive dreadnaughts of the armada, something that her small ship couldn't get by, well, usually.

"Move it, move it, move it!" shrieked a furious Ack!-Kane, 'Move it so that I can fulfill my divine holy cow mission, that of destroying all the perverts in this universe. I SAID MOVE!"

With that last bit, she shoved the ship into high gear, and started slowly pushing the two dreadnaughts out of the way. It was just too bad that in her total focus on that space, she'd completely ignored the open parking space just forty meters off her starboard side, with nothing blocking it.

After several minutes of trying, and just when it seemed the engines of her ship would burn out, Ack!-Kane's efforts paid off, when the two massive ships slowly started to move out of the way, and the small ship burst through, arriving at the parking hatch, only a little worse for wear. Unfortunately for Ack!-Kane…

"…THAT IT FOLKS! The great assigning is done and over with! Thanks to all the students of the Art that came here, and let's get ready to go out there, and take over this universe!", Nab!-Eeki gleefully shouted into her microphone, one of the perks that true masters of the art were able to gain.

"Oh yes!" sobbed the Weepiest, "I have complete confidence in all of you to go forth and teach all others in the universe! Isn't that right old friend!"

However, the best he got from the fattest was a snort, as he was passed out drunk over the game board that he'd been studying intently during the whole proceedings, not without some grumbling from the Weepiest master's two daughters. Glancing back at him one more time, the Weepiest started to call an ending to the proceedings, when he was interrupted by a shout from the floor.

"Daddy, wait for me daddy!" sang out the call, to the shock of everyone in the hall, including the fattest, who'd bolted upright when he heard those words, even while passed out drunk still.

"Wait daddy! You can't let the whole training course go, and not include me, right!" were the words from the smallish figure making it's way through the crowd, rather easily, as all the Invaders there strove mightily to keep her from touching them.

"Daddy! I can't believe you didn't invite me to this!" said Ack!-Kane as she ran up to, and then with a small leap of a few meters, onto the stage, "Why, if I hadn't have picked up the rumors of this during a coffee break last month, I'd have never known this was going on at all!"

Behind the two Masters, Ack!-Kane's two sisters ground their teeth, and just waited for the right moment to figure out who it was that couldn't keep quiet, as well as the opportunity to 'reward' them for their actions.

"OH MY BRAVE LITTLE GIRL AND YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY JUST TO SEE YOUR FATHER!" bawled the Weepiest, while gathering his daughter into a steel crushing, and hopefully, lethal hug, "YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD!"

The fattest Master just farted and slept on, while the two other daughters rolled their purple eyes, as they watched Ack!-Kane break the hold with ease.

"Oh Daddy, I'm not a kid anymore," Ack!-Kane huffed, "I'm a Master of the Art too! I can't wait to go out on one of the many worlds that we've been ready to teach a lesson to for so long, and teach them lessons! So, tell me, what world have I been assigned to?"

"Oh, well, you see, about that my dear daughter," stammered the Weepiest, "You see, it's like this…"

"Oh my," Kuts!-Zume stated in her gentle voice, "You see Ack!-Kane, since you weren't here, we assigned everyone a world, but, I'm afraid you missed out.

If her older sister's smile had been a bit less broad, Ack!-Kane might have thought not so much of it, but as she looked at her oldest sister, she couldn't help but feel that she wasn't being entirely truthful.

"You know big sis," she stated while looking at her sister suspiciously, "I wonder why I didn't find out till it was too late? You or Nab!-Eeki wouldn't have anything to do with that would you?"

"Us Ack!-Kane," said Nab!-Eeki, with a finger pointing to herself, while Kuts!-Zume looked mortified beyond belief, "We'd never do that to our dearest sister, never ever! How could you even think that we would be so vicious to you! Oh the shame of it all!"

Right after saying this, both females held their faces in their hands, as though they were crying, only looking up to smirk at each other when Ack!-Kane held her own head down, looking tearful herself.

"But…bit I only want to punish those perverts that deserve it big sisters!" Ack!-Kane sniffled out, "I just want to make the universe safe for pure, sweet, innocent females everywhere! Surely you can help me find a planet that I can make safe?"

The two older sisters looked ashamed for a moment, while the Weepiest master continued to sob, and the fattest master snored, only to start as he woke up, blinked when he saw Ack!-Kane, and said, "Why don't we just send her to a world in uncharted space?"

With that, he fell asleep again, while the other three just goggled for a moment, maybe at the fact that the Fattest seemed to be actually making suggestions that made sense, rather than his usual more asinine statements.

"Hmm," Nab!-Eeki muttered to herself, "That sounds very interesting indeed. Now, where could we look for…"

She'd cut off, as her eye caught a section of the galaxy map, which had a place with a small planet on it labeled, **Unknown**. She turned and looked at her older sister, and then to her father for approval, which she received with a nod of his head. Turning back to the map for a moment longer, she twirled around to look at her youngest sister.

"Okay Ack!-Kane," she grinned, "How about this planet, it's supposed to be protected by a force of warriors so powerful, and perverted, that it's incredible that you've not met them before. In fact, what makes it worse is that, they're women!"

Ack!-Kane's, who'd been hanging onto Nabiki's words up to that moment, face faulted, before picking her self up, and branded her Mr. Mallet for a moment longer, obviously in a furious rage.

"You, you mean there are perverted women," she frothed, "Now that's just…just not right! I must go and repair their disorders, so that they can be pure and sweet again. I will do this, I must!"

Ack!-Kane stood there with her fist clenched tightly, and tears flowing from her eyes, before she stood up, and turned to her father and the Fattest Master, bowing before them both.

"Father, Uncle," she cried out, "I will do what I must to stop this perversion, and make the universe safe for all females, this I swear! Now, let's go and do what must be done."

After that last statement, the Fattest stood up, belched loudly while scratching himself, and turned to the Weepiest with a broad grin.

"Okay, now let's go and get their battle androids set up for them," he chortled and walked away from the others, who stared back at him incredulously, before they gathered themselves and everyone in the hall left off to follow him.

A little while later, the small group of five, along with a group of another thousand Invaders found them all in a chamber, where a large machine sat and waited for them. It was over fifteen meters in height, basically shaped like a huge funnel, with a long bank of computers attached to the bottom side of it. The two Masters walked up to the nearest computer bank, and turned around to face the current crowd.

"This, is the Atavrachon," the Weepiest stated in a relatively calm voice for once, "Where you will be able to receive the newest generation of fighting and scouting robots! Here's one for an example."

Nodding to him, the Fattest master grunted, before he pushed a button, and there were immediate convulsions that came from the machine, though they only lasted a few minutes before a small canister came sliding down a ramp. Landing on the ground, with a clunking sound, it wobbled back and forth for a few seconds, before it jumped up into the air, transforming into a medium sized robot.

It looked vaguely humanoid, in that it had arms, legs and a torso, topped by a head, though the only features on its face were two large red eyes, and a small mouth. The fattest master held it up with one hand and announced to all in the room, "This is your Battle Android: Martial Arts, version 1.2, or B.An.M.A.! It is able to learn any form of the Art as is considered necessary to the situation, and is even able to come close to matching ourselves in the ability to learn the Art."

While the other Invaders stood in awe, the fattest set the robot on its feet, after which, it stood stiffly for a moment, then raised its hand to it's forehead in a salute and stated. "Battle Android: Martial Arts, version 1.2, B.An.M.A., reporting for duty!"

The other invaders continued to stare at it for another few seconds, before the Weepiest master picked the robot up by the head, and yelled out loud, "Who wants this one!"

Silence reigned for a moment before a voice sang out, "I would your greatness!"

With that, the weepiest master flung the robot in the general direction of the voice, and after a heavy thunking sound was heard, the same voice came back, though not so loud this time saying, "T…thank y…you." After that, the only sound heard was the gentle ka-thud of a body striking the floor.

It was only a second later when Invader Ack! Kane came up to the front of the row. "A brand new robot, with which I can punish perverts with! Inconceivable! I must have one, I must! Gimme!"

Both masters looked at one another for a moment, before a sly grin developed on their faces.

"Oh, we've got one for you, a very special one," the Fattest master grinned before he moved to block Ack! Kane's vision, working on a simple training maneuver, while the weepiest master turned around and started pulling abandoned robot parts out of a nearby convenient trashcan.

This lasted for only a few minutes before the fattest heard a sound similar to a cough behind him, and turned around, just in time to hear the weepiest sound off with a loud, "Wheeeeyooo!", and then, the next thing Ack! Kane knew, there was a robot lying at her feet.

Ack! Kane looked down at the robot, which continued to lay there. "Um, my apologies oh great father, but it looks…not so good."

Right after she said that, the robot stood up, and looked at her, no, it looked deeply into her dark red eyes, while it's own dark blue, almost sapphire colored eyes stared back at her, for what felt like years, though it was actually only a few moments, before it it's eyes narrowed, and it spoke aloud, "R.An.M.A., reporting for duty ma'am."

Ack! Kane stared back at the robot before she blinked her eyes, and said, "R.An.M.A.? What does the 'R' stand for?"

The robots incredibly focused eyes seemed to dull, from the crystal bright sapphire of only a few moments ago, to a now pale and lifeless blue, and it turned its head sideways to look at Ack! Kane for a moment before it said in a now sluggish voice, "I…dooon't know. Eeeeheeeheee! Yah! Watah!"

The robot then started leaping all about the room, while it continued to yell out loud . Ack! Kane stared at it for a bit, before she turned back to the two masters of the art and said, "It seems to be some kind of…not smart?"

The two masters, who had been choking from holding their laughter in, turned around looking solemn once again, and the fattest master said, "Oh no, no, no, it's not stupid, it's… advanced," while he held up his hands and made quote marks with his fingers.

"Ahhhh," said Invader Ack! Kane, "I see it now, yes, this makes things all the easier now, and with the power of this R.A.N.M.A. at my disposal, I will rule supreme, and all perverts will…be…SMASHED! Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

Even as she said this, the R.An.M.A. continued to leap about, oblivious to everyone, while both of the masters and her sisters, along with everyone else in the room had huge sweat drops on their heads.

Later that evening (some nine hours and forty-seven minutes after Ack !Kane had finished her laughing rant), her small scout-ship, also know in Invader terms as a P.O.O.T. cruiser, was currently moving away from Conventionary 7, as the rest of the armada itself prepared to leave their own planetary docking arms. Inside, Ack! Kane was feverishly pressing buttons as she prepared the ship for faster than light travel.

"Ah yes R.A.N.M.A." she cackled out loud, "Soon we'll be able to arrive at this brand new world, one where I'll be able to properly train, and punish, all the perverts that might be living there.

"All right. Giggeddy, giggedy goo, oooh yeah! Can I sing the smashing perverts song that I just made up in my head?" R.An.M.A. sang out, his enthusiasm infectiously spreading to Ack!-Kane even.

"Okay R.A.n.M.A.," grinned Ack!-Kane, "Let's sing and toast to the destruction of all those perverts that I'm going to get, and I mean get 'em good and…what's this crap?"

This last was said by Ack!-Kane as her hand brushed against some kind of black sphere, with an Invader-styled happy face on it, and a clock that was steadily counting down the minutes into seconds.

"Eh, I don't think I'll need a clock, as we'll arrive at our destination in no time! R.An.M.A.!" Ack!-Kane barked, "Open the hatch, and toss this out, we've got little enough room as it is!"

"Yes, my Mistress," R.An.M.A. saluted crisply before quickly lifting up the cockpit of the ship, and letting the depressurization carry the sphere outside, where it quickly receded into the distance.

"Okay, let's sing a song," R.An.M.A, shrieked happily, "Pervert's, get those perverts, before they try to get away, hey, hey! Down there, right below you, they're running like Mega-fleas, dahdahdah, ha! Let's go, and knock them winding, let's go, and keep on finding…them, ha ha!" Pervert's get those pervert's, before they know what hit them, tra-laa!"

Ack!-Kane grinned evilly, before she turned to look at her brave robot, who was really quite handsome all things considered, and…clonking herself on the head, she turned back to her console for a minute, setting the course, and the Voorhees's Pan-Dimensional drive, or as it was more usually called, VHORP-drive.

"Okay R.An.M.A.!" she giggled, "Second verse, same as the first!"

With that, the two of them started singing together, and the little ship continued on its way away from the rest of the war-fleet, acting as though it didn't have a care in the world.

On board the Invader's capital ship, both Master's and Ack!-Kane's two sisters were quietly counting down the seconds to what should have been the probably destruction of the small scout-ship, but as it slowly faded out into the distance, soon becoming a twinkle of light among the stars, their looks of hope became replaced by looks of defeat.

"I thought for sure that that would've got her!" Nab!-Eeki growled out, "But I guess she found it and defused it before it could go off!"

Oh my poor psychotic baby girl!" bawled the Weepiest Master, "She's so cunning, I'll have to sleep with one eye open a lot more now!"

"Best to do that now Father," came the whispered gentle retort from Kuts!-Zume, as she twisted a thin silken cord that she held in her hands behind her back.

"Excuse me my Master!" shouted out one of the drones at a monitoring station, "But something just went tumbling by the ship, and is headed towards the planet's surface! It should make impact in just a few…"

At that same moment, the ship was rocked by a huge tremor, as the horrified crew looked behind them to see the former convention hall planet collapsing in on itself, before it started to swell outwards in a fiery glow that consumed all matter in its path.

"Let's get it into gear!" the Fattest growled, and the others shook their heads in the affirmative, as the great armada quickly jumped into VHORP-drive.

"Whew"! Nab!-Eeki said as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, then ginned like a loon, "Little sis is getting well devious! That just makes the game all that more interesting!"

With that said, both Nab!-Eeki and Kats-Zume prepared to depart to their own ships for when they came out of the first faster than light jump, while the two of them made plans on the best way to whip their section of the crews into shape, 'whip' being the operative word. As the two daughters entered the lift chamber, the Fattest and Weepiest, grabbed each others arms, and stated shouting excitedly at each other.

"Yes my old friend," the Weepiest sobbed, at last, our plans of unifying our two sections of the universe will come to fruition!"

That's right old friend!" laughed the Fattest, "So now maybe we'll go to a place that's got some really good booze too!"

The rest of the crew sweat-dropped as the two continued their joyous rants, while the Fattest one's last words were inadvertently carried out over a small intercom that'd been left on, and then transmitted out into space, where they hitched a ride on a tachyon wave, before eventually arriving at a small, rather insignificant planet, where two people that lived on it suddenly stopped what they were doing, and looked out to the stars in fear.

They're coming!" Rei Hino whispered to herself, while staring into the sacred flame at her grandfather's temple.

"She's coming "Setsuna Meioh whispered as she stared at a Gate of Time that only moments before had predicted Crystal Tokyo with a better than eighty percent chance of occurring, and which was now down to less than two percent. And while both women stopped what they were doing and stared at the stars, far, far, far away, a small ship moved along, with its two occupants singing a song that was now up to the seventy-first verse.

Six and a half months later

With a large flash of light, the small P.O.O.T cruiser came roaring out of VHORP space, before it settled down, and continued on its apparently random course, while inside…

"Seven million, eight hundred thousand and four hundred and twentieth verse, same as the first! Pervert's get those pervert's…," R.An.M.A. sang happily, while Ack!-Kane appeared ready to do incredible violence to him.

Actually, it appeared that the robot had already been the victim of incredible violence, several times in fact, but it seemed to not diminish his spirits, nor his cheerful voice, which was now finishing up the verse, and seemed to be getting ready for another one. Ack!-Kane picked up her battle mallet, and seemed to be ready to strike him again, when an alarm on her console started to flash, and the words appeared, 'HABITABLE PLANET AHEAD'.

"R.An.M.A.!" she snarled in joy, "There's a planet ahead, and this must be where daddy wanted me…"

"Huhbuhbuhbuh" shushed R.A.n.M.A., before he finished the last verse of the song with a flourish, before setting down, and staring intently at his mistress.

Ack!-Kane blinked for a moment, again unused to the attention he gave her, before she again started to speak.

"Okay," she hesitantly said at first, "There's a planet up ahead of us, called…Uurth? This must be where daddy wanted us to go and correct the smelly, filthy stink-beast perverts! Now R.A.n.M.A., let's go and explore, find the place where there are lots of people that practice some kind of version of the Art, and observe, and then blend in with them."

Cackling much like a certain Amazon matriarch (who may or may not appear in this story…depends) she set her small P.O.O.T cruiser into an orbit so as to rapidly explore the world, searching out for various points of interest, before Ack!-Kane decided that this point in between these two cities, in some country of the planet named…Japan, or sometime Nippon, was the perfect place to go and set up her base.

The P.O.O.T cruiser settled into a stationary orbit, and when night appeared over the country, she gently landed it in a vacant lot, in between two other occupied houses, which would be perfect. Coughing from the smoke and steam caused by the landing delayed her triumphal entrance for a few moments, but she was able to appear only moments later, hands held high as if to announce her presence, which she did a few moments later.

"All right R.An.M.A!" she yelled, forgetting the blending in part for a moment, "Now, all we have to do is make us some disguises, and then we build a base of operations! From there, it's PERVERT PUNISHING TIME!"

So saying, she pulled out an electronic notepad, and started scrolling through pictures that R.An.M.A had taken and committed to his memory banks while they'd been orbiting the planet. First she saw a picture of a balding fat man, with a mustache and lots of body hair, then one of a muscular male with a hood and cape, before she finally settle on a rather ordinary one of a young male with long hair in a martial arts pose.

Ack!-Kane then started shoving R.An.M.A. towards the P.O.O.T cruiser, which was now standing on it's rear, and had opened up to reveal a chamber in it's undercarriage.

"Get in there, and we'll take care of this little detail at once." She cheerfully said, before mumbling under her breath, "Just to make sure it's not too painful as well."

On that last statement, she finished pushing the robot into the chamber, which swiftly closed on him while he waved back at her. Following that, the chamber started to light up, and the ship itself stated shaking violently, while she could here chuckles coming from inside it. A few moments later, the chamber opened and out stepped…well, definitely a man. He stood about 5'9", with raven-black hair, a healthy complexion, and dressed in a red shirt and black pants with simple shoes. The most striking thing about the former robot was his eyes, which still retained their deep blue, even though his facial features were like the others in this country. Ack!-Kane stared for a moment longer, before she caught herself, and shaking her head, got ready to step into the machine her self, after selecting what she felt was the perfect disguise for her.

The machine rocked and rolled for a few moments more, while Ack!-Kane yelled out her pain from within it, until it finally stopped and she stepped out as well.

"Whoa," R.An.M.A. said breathlessly, "What happened to you mistress? Where'd you go?"

"It's me R.An.M.A." chortled Ack!-Kane giddily, "I knew if my disguise would fool you, then it'll fool everyone on this MISERABLE, INSIGNIFICANT, MUDBALL!"

Screeching that last bit out, Ack!-Kane turned back to her machinations, while her robot stared at her, memorizing her new form. She was the same height as before, and had the same green skin, with no ears still…in fact, except for a short, blackish/blue haired, bobbed wig, and her now brown human eyes, she looked about the same as before. However, he shrugged that off, as it'd fooled him, and would sure fool everyone that she met as well. It was then that he noticed that she was now drawing on her electronic notepad, and stepped in closer to see what it was.

"There!" she said with a flourish, as she put the pad down, before pressing a button, "Now I've designed a beautiful and fully functional base of operations. Let's get over there, and be quiet, we don't want to give out mission away!"

With that statement, she scuttled over to the sidewalk, while R.An.M.A. quickly followed along, whispering "Sneak, sneak, sneak" under his breath.

The two stopped some bit away, while the notepad that had been set down, transformed into a drill, which quickly bit into the ground and disappeared. Only a few moments later, the earth started shaking, and after another minute, a house started to appear from the ground up, growing rapidly to the sky, while scooping up her space cruiser into its roof, before it sent out tendrils that latched onto the other houses. After a few more minutes more, the rumbling ceased, and in front of the two stood a relatively…crude, to say the least, version of a standard old-fashioned Japanese home, complete with dojo.

"Hahahaha, that's right!" Ack!-Kane laughed uproariously, now we've got a base of operations, and next, next, we find a place to learn as much as possible about this filthy, dirty, fffiiilllthy disgusting place! Now, let's go for it, R.An.M.A., come with me!"

The two left and walked through the front door, while the lucky cat statues stood guard, the lasers in their eyes lit up and ready for action. Strangely enough, no one else in the neighborhood had even bothered to get up or say anything, as they seemed to be accustomed to this sort of thing.

This was proven only moments later, when a terrible roaring cut through the night, along with a high-pitched girl's voice, "Pink baths are a place for men (and some women) to relax after a hard day! Prepare for destruction, vile fiend! Super Cholesterol Heart Attack...LET'S GO!"

The next day

Juuban high school was a lovely looking place, minus the holes in the walls, and the roofs, and the occasional new ones that seemed to pop up randomly.

The student body was the typical one of a Japanese high school, and the people there were relatively content with their lot in life, which is why for one reason or another, the new student that'd started that day just seemed to scare the pee out of them.

As the bell for homeroom rang at Juuban High School, most of the students in class 2-A sat and stared intently at their new classmate in ever growing terror and fear, especially since the beautiful, but green-skinned, slightly short, black haired girl, was currently glaring back at them. Ack!-Kane gaze promised that yes indeed, she would judge them all on how bad their perverted-ness was, and that their punishments would be glorious, yes, glorious indeed, but first, to business.

"Greetings", said Ack!-Kane, in a most insincere, yet, curiously happy voice, "I am a fellow human worm baby. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from one such as I even the ones who are so perverted that they just know that they, and the rest of the filthy perverts on this planet, are going to get it!" Nyahahahahahaha!"

Ack!-Kane paused in her ranting and raving for a moment, as she saw the fear-filled eyes of her now fellow classmates. Oh yes, life was good, she mused to herself even as she prepared to take her seat.

"Very good, Miss…Kane?" said the lovely red-headed-with a tinge of blue to her skin-teacher, Ms. Beryl, who was recently hired from another school district., apparently to take the place of Miss Hinako, who'd transferred to Furinken High School in order to help out with discipline problems there. "Now sit down and take your place with all the other pitiful, brain-damaged little idiots that dare to attend this school, and my class!" she snarled. With that said, she moved so fast that it was almost the same as if she'd teleported to her chair, and the class was officially recognized as being underway.

Shrugging off her dismissal, Ack!-Kane skipped over to a vacant desk close to the door, and plopped down into it, and waited until Ms. Beryl had just turned to the whiteboard to start writing something before she raised her hand and said, "Ms. Beryl, can I ask a question?"

The teacher/her horribleness shuddered for a moment, before turning around and with a put-upon look on her face and snarled, "What, Miss Kane, what do you need to know that's so important?"

"Well," started Ack!-Kane almost sheepishly, "I was just wondering…can you tell me the exact defense force this planet, and especially if any of those pervert girls could mount against, say, a huge planet smashing armada?"

"Hmm", Ms. Beryl hummed quietly, "That's actually a good question, and if I could only get the last of my forces up and running, then I could kick those pervert loving girls from here to eternity…but that's neither here nor there. So, no I don't know, and don't ask such asinine questions again!"

Ack!-Kane quietly took this without flinching, though when Ms. Beryl had turned back to the whiteboard, she did clinch her teeth, until another voice came crashing into her consciousness.

"She's an alien you guys!" exclaimed a young man sitting on the other side of the room, who wore hideously thick glasses, "You can't tell me that she's not one! I mean…she's got green skin for heaven's sake!

"Me, an alien!" Ack!-Kane scoffed, "I'm no alien, I just have a, a…skin condition!"

"Did you say you had a skin condition?" the boy said incredulously, "What, you mean there's one where you have no ears"?

Everyone paused and looked at Ack!-Kane intently for a moment, who started to slowly sweat, while fingering the self-destruct device all Invaders carry on their person, when another girl off to the side and behind the two of them spoke up.

"Ah, shut up Gurio," she stated in a bored tone, "You've been going on about aliens and stuff like that since grade school. Give it a rest, why don't you?"

The boy now identified as Gurio sputtered for a moment, before he turned back and pointed a shaking hand towards Ack!-Kane's direction again.

"Oh yeah," he said, "Well, if she's not an alien, then I'll wager that she must be…a youma!"

"Did you say a puma!" Ack!-Kane gasped, while pulling a large cat from somewhere, and setting it loose on the boy sitting behind her.

"NO!" Gurio yelled with much gnashing of teeth, as everyone viewed the exchange, ignoring the terrified shrieks of the boy currently being mauled, "I said a youma!"

"Did you say a Roomba!" Ack!-Kane gasped, as she pulled out a circular looking robotic vacuum that started to sweep the floor, and then rushed over and started to scrub away on a girl seated by the window.

"No damnit!" Gurio shrieked, "A youma! A youma! YOUMAAA!"

While all this was going on, Ms Beryl had sat down in her chair, and was grinning like a maniac while the debate continued, with Gurio getting angrier and angrier, while the new female student continued to pull stuff from out of nowhere, infuriating him even more.

"Ah, put a sock in it G!" came another voice from over in the far corner of the room, "You always go on and on about youma and monsters and ghost and stuff like that! Why don't you give it up, huh? We remember the Bigfoot fiasco from last year!"

"Hey!" barked Gurio, "If my digital camera hadn't been messed up, then you would've seen a great picture of him getting his butt kicked by the beautiful sailor-suited soldiers of love and justice!"

"Ah yes," said Ack!-Kane wearily, "I remember last week, when Gurio was going on and on about what was going to happen with the new monster that'd he just happened to see flitting about town."

"Hey!" he shouted, "You weren't even here last week! In fact, you didn't even start school till today!"

"Yeah, that new girls right though," another girl two seats behind Gurio stated, "You always go on about stuff like that. Can't you just act like a normal kid for once, instead of a, A DIB!

With the rest of the classmates mumbling their agreement, Gurio looked around, and saw he would receive no sympathy from them. Whipping his head back, he caught a glimpse of the new girl, Ack!-Kane, smirking quietly, before the look vanished from her face, and she turned back to her textbook. Grumbling to his self, Gurio turned back towards Ms. Beryl, who seemed awfully familiar to him for some reason, and turned to the page in his own book. Ack!-Kane sat and grinned to herself, as the first stage was now in place, and soon, the next would proceed, and from there, it was surely only a short time till this pitiful, miserable , filthy dirtball of a world was conquered, by her, and her alone! Ack!-Kane chuckled to her self, her laughter echoing down the corridors of her mind or so she thought.

Actually she was currently laughing hysterically out loud, and now everyone in the room, including the teacher was staring at her, with huge sweat-drops on their head, while outside, R.An.M.A. was going through a martial arts form, much like hummingbirds act when they drink Jolt Cola, and all was wrong in the world.

The End…for now


End file.
